Cinematic Distractions

[dulcedemon]

Hawk the Slayer (1980):
"Two blood brothers with only blood between them."
They have nothing but blood between them, and it's all bad. This was our main feature on Halloween night. It was a grand choice. I wasn't sure what to expect when I put it in the rental queue. I'm of the opinion that Hawk the Slayer is the absolute pinnacle of low budget sword and sorcery movies. Even the DVD menu is cool with its graphics reminiscent of 1980s arcade games.
The eldest son of a king, Voltan (Jack Palance), bumps off his dad (Ferdy Mayne) after learning that his much younger brother, Hawk (John Terry), will be heir to the throne. Hawk arrives just in time to hear his father's last words. He is bestowed with a magical sword upon which he swears an oath of righteous vengeance. So begins the adventure, and the opening credits.
Voltan rampages across the land with his dark magic bolstered army of thugs, while Hawk assembles a small team of allies. It's pretty much a typical D&D adventure roster: A sorceress (Patricia Quinn), an elf (Ray Charleson), a giant (Bernard Bresslaw), and a dwarf (Peter O'Farrell). They come to the aid of Ranulf (William Morgan Sheppard), a middle-aged guy with a crossbow whose village has just been decimated by Voltan's forces. The group sets up base in an abbey after its abbess is abducted by Voltan in a ploy to lure out Hawk.
Some of the finer points that I really enjoyed:
--There is a mere three-year age difference between Jack Palance and Ferdy Mayne. Even if we ignore that, there is a thirty-one-year age difference between Jack Palance and John Terry. Brother from another mother? It's either that, or mom had Voltan when she was fifteen, and Hawk was a change of life baby.
--The soundtrack consists mainly of synth-metal. It has a strong music video vibe, especially during the horseback riding scenes. Over the river and through the woods, past boiling swamps, crumbling ruins, and random piles of spooky, mossy, cobwebbed skeletons they go. Think along the lines of Iron Maiden's Can I Play with Madness meets The Safety Dance by Men Without Hats.
--Skillfully painted backdrops are used for outdoor landscape shots of the castles, towns, and the abbey.
--The special effect for the teleportation spell is basically a pair of glowing hula hoops.
--Hawk's sword gets its magic from an elven mind stone affixed to the hilt. The stone glows green, has the ability to levitate, and bears a striking resemblance to the Loknar from Heavy Metal (1981).
--There is a scene in which Voltan roughs up an innkeeper played by Roy Kinnear, who many remember for his role as Veruca Salt's dad in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (1971), but my first thought when he appeared on screen was, "Hey! It's that guy from the Mike and the Mechanics videos."
It's clear at the end that they intended at least a sequel if not a series. It's a shame no more were made.

An Evening of Edgar Allan Poe (1970):
This made for television special starring Vincent Price is a Halloween tradition in our house. Vincent Price embodies four of Poe's short stories: The Tell-Tale Heart, The Sphinx, The Cask of Amontillado, and The Pit and The Pendulum. It looks its age and could use remastering, but it doesn't detract from the overall experience. There are some small changes to Price's appearance and the set design from story to story, but the gist of it is auditory. The DVD we own is a double feature with The Tomb of Ligeia (1964).

She-Hulk: Attorney at Law (2022):
What a wonderful, pro-woman, action-comedy! With so many superhero movies and shows out there, it's hard to stand out in the crowd, yet She-Hulk succeeds. I was pleasantly surprised by it.
The premise of accidentally becoming super and wanting nothing to do with the hero part is great. Jennifer Walters wants little more than a flourishing career as an attorney, and an attractive guy who respects her and shares her zeal. Those goals become considerably harder to achieve when she turns into a green-skinned giant capable of knocking bad guys or ladies through brick walls and tossing cars around like toys.
I like that it incorporates other Marvel heroes as special guests. The episodes with Daredevil are smoking hot. Every episode breaks the fourth wall at least once, because why not smash all the walls. It's contemporary in regard to technology, social media reliance, and pop culture. It's exuberant, vivacious, and a lot of fun. I hope there will be another season.

Warm Bodies (2013):
Ah! to be young and in love in a dystopian, zombie-infested, post-apocalyptic, survivalist hellscape. If this isn't the sweetest and most adorable zombie movie ever, I don't know what is. I rented it on a recommendation from someone who described it as cute, funny, primarily geared toward teenagers, yet worthwhile for adults due to its social commentary. Yes, all of those things, and also John Malkovich.
I like the narrative. I like the inventive take on star-crossed lovers. As is typical of romantic movies, each half of the loving couple has a best friend sidekick in whom they can confide and rely upon for help no matter what. Casting put together two great teams of actors with Nicholas Hoult and Rob Corddry, and Teresa Palmer and Lio Tipton. They play off each other well both as pairs and as a group.
The make-up artistry is truly outstanding. On the DVD, every behind-the-scenes segment is worth watching. This production was extremely fortunate to have both an abandoned airport and an Olympic sports stadium at its disposal. Warm Bodies is based upon the Isaac Marion novel of the same name. I'm not certain it will become a Halloween essential for us, but I'm sure I'll watch it again someday.

Cat People (1942):
I saw the 1982 remake long before the original back when I was too young years old. To my recollection, the family had gathered around for movie night, and my grandparents decided we would watch Cat People on HBO. I guess they thought it would be faithful to the original, and not be all sexed-up and bloody. It was a memorable experience to say the least.
Now, almost four decades later, I have finally seen the original.
I did a perfunctory search concerning the legends and superstitions that play a major part in the story. Either search engines aren't fond of Serbian history, or it didn't happen as presented in the film.
It seems there was a King John, more often referred to as Blessed John, who either was the first king of Serbia or the first one after the Ottomans were driven out. According to the legend in the movie, King John defeats the Mamelukes, which are described as devil-worshipping witches who can transform into leopards. In real history, Mamelukes or Mamluks were slaves conscripted into military service. They were predominantly but not necessarily Turkish in origin. As far as pronunciation of that term is concerned, I had to turn on the subtitles, because it sounded like Irena (Simone Simon) was saying, "Marmadukes".
Irena Dubrovna hails from a small village in Serbia, but she made her way to New York City, where she works as a fashion illustrator. Oliver Reed (Kent Smith) is a successful naval architect. They meet by chance at the Central Park Zoo, when Oliver affably chides Irena for littering in front of a no littering sign while she draws in her sketchbook.
Irena invites him over to her place for tea, where she tells him some really messed up stories about the history of her village and her own family. They spend the afternoon in her apartment. Come evening, she sees him off without so much as a hug or a peck on the cheek. Oliver, possibly thinking that he has hit the shy, virginal, woman-child jackpot, asks her out for a dinner date.
They rush into marriage. After the nuptials, Irena continues to eschew all forms of physical intimacy. It dawns on Oliver that he has made a poor choice. Jane Randolph plays Alice Moore, Oliver's co-worker and good friend to whom he turns for comfort and advice. It's a poorly kept secret that Alice would like to be more than friends. Two of the best-known scenes in this movie involve Alice being stalked by a jealous Irena.
Of the central cast members, Simone Simon is the only one who I recognized from other things. This is the only time I've seen her in a lead role. The actors that I'm the most familiar with here play only bit parts, a few of them uncredited. Alan Napier enjoys some brief screen time and a few lines as Doc Carver. Elizabeth Russell appears in one scene, but her lines are dubbed with Simone Simon's voice. I know her from The Corpse Vanishes with Bela Lugosi, which was released the same year as Cat People. Theresa Harris plays a waitress here, but I know her from small roles in Horse Feathers (1932), Morocco (1930), and Gold Diggers of 1933 (1933).
The actor I have seen the most is also the most unassuming. I have watched him in multiple films without even knowing it. He is Alec Craig, and he plays the zookeeper in charge of the big cats. He had a long career of illustrious roles such as: store watchman, drunken printer, townsman, idler, townsman at church, telephone repair man, Scottish farmer without mustache, and one of the few for which he is almost famous, McCoy from Mutiny on the Bounty (1935).
Light and shadow are used to great effect. The best examples are the pool scene with Alice and Irena, and the scene with Oliver and Alice working late at the office. In the office scene, illuminated drafting tables are the primary source of light. The rest of the room is dark save for an area of wall marked with measurements like an enormous ruler on which they scale ship designs. Anyone or anything could be lurking in those shadows, watching, waiting, ready to pounce. I got a kick out of Oliver wielding a T-square like a crucifix.
In terms of special effects, there is a dream sequence featuring a short bit of animation showing numerous black cats, and a bit of enhanced eye-gleam on Irena in another scene. There are no showy transformations, person to cat or vice versa.
The DVD I rented came with a commentary track featuring a film historian giving all the dish on RKO studios, producer Val Lewton, and the making of Cat People. The commentary also contained audio excerpts of actress Simone Simon from old interviews. I appreciate the subtlety of the original. For all that it borrowed, the remake is truly its own beast.

Chosen Survivors (1974):
I chose this because I'm a fan of the Fallout video game series, and the synopsis made it sound like a crawl out through the fallout good time.
The movie opens with a helicopter dropping off the chosen survivors of a global thermonuclear war at the entrance of a fallout shelter. They stumble disoriented and obviously drugged down a gauntlet of armed soldiers who shove them through the vault door. A rough elevator ride tosses the barely conscious occupants like rag dolls as it takes them over a mile underground. No sooner do they comprehend their situation than it begins to go sideways. The shock and horror of the ordeal leaves everyone with frayed nerves and short tempers. They have almost no time to process and adjust before critical equipment breaks down, and other odd things occur. They begin to suspect they are not alone.
My expectations were a deep underground vault with many "Lite-Brite" wall-inset control panels with multi-colored illuminated buttons, and arcane dials, levers, and switches controlling high-tech machinery. It absolutely delivers that and with a comic flare straight out of a Vault-Tec overseer's manual. It does indeed have an abundance of "Lite-Brite" control panels, but the buttons are all white and none are labeled, and several of the panels are in strange, hard to reach locations. The dials, levers, and switches are as arcane as they come; none of them are labeled either. There is a lot of stainless steel and clear acrylic in this very 1970s conception of a high-tech survival bunker. Every bedroom has its own wall-inset aquarium filled with tropical fish. I spent a significant amount of time thinking about how they were supposed to feed the fish and clean the tanks with them built into the wall. In the communal kitchen, there is a large cage of birds built into the wall in a similar fashion.
As for the chosen survivors, I'm not sure what I expected other than I thought they would be younger. The only cast member under thirty is Cristina Moreno, who plays nutritionist Kristin Lerner. I would think it difficult to start the human race anew when half of the women are nearing menopause. The men are just as old and older. Jackie Cooper, who has top billing here, was fifty-two years old when this was made.
They were supposedly selected at random by a computer, yet two of them know each other, seemingly quite well. Senator Alana Fitzgerald (Diana Muldaur) and journalist Steven Hayes (Alex Cord) get so cozy so fast that they share a bedroom after the first night. None of the other vault dwellers question it. The survivors hail from diverse backgrounds. There is a biologist, an oceanographer, an Olympian, an economist, a typical housewife, a typical angry conservative, a doctor, and a soldier.
Several large wall-mounted television screens deliver daily updates, instructional, and inspirational pre-recorded messages from the government. These announcements and pep talks are given by a perky blonde spokeswoman standing in the Oval Office. The televisions can also be used to view the apocalyptic devastation above ground both locally and all around the world via satellite. The above ground devastation scenes consist primarily of stock footage of volcanic eruptions.
What I didn't expect of this movie was for it to be a poster for inhumane treatment of animals on movie sets. The bats look perfectly realistic, because they are real, and also really adorable. So many adorable little brown bats were killed during this production that two of the actors, Barabara Babcock and Jackie Cooper, lobbied the Academy of Motion Pictures Arts and Sciences to apply the American standard for humane treatment to movies made abroad. Although Chosen Survivors is an American production, it was shot in Mexico. I didn't learn about the animal cruelty until after I had watched it. I can't help but wonder about the treatment of the fish and birds as well. Despite a few good performances, especially Barbara Babcock, without the Fallout fandom "Ha! Ha! Just like Vault-Tec!" comparisons, it's a sadly predictable disaster-horror that many defenseless animals died to make.

Ganja and Hess (1973):
This movie makes sense in the same universe in which Last Year at Marienbad makes sense. It's a universe most of us would prefer to avoid, because every time we go there, we end up sorry we came. It's so incoherent at times that the dialogue is more like a free form poetry recitation. Just as I was getting into its avant-garde poetic groove, along comes Marlene Clark as Ganja, and it tries to be a real movie. It should have stuck with the poetry. I don't know if it's a romantic horror or a horrific romance.
It's a non-traditional vampire tale in which an archaeologist's wife returns home to discover some dude has moved into her house and replaced her husband. He claims to be her husband's field assistant and tells her that her spouse disappeared while away on business. She isn't exactly cool with it, but she is awfully mellow about it. There are no fangs, no capes, no sleeping in coffins. The source of the vampirism is a dirty old dagger from an archaeological dig.
Duane Jones of Night of the Living Dead (1968) fame stars as the vampiric Dr. Hess Green. I didn't pay attention to names or recognize him when I watched it. In looking it up afterward, my disappointment in the poor acting doubled.
Marlene Clark is good here. The conclusion could be described as a feminist one. It's quite a scene with or without the full-frontal male nudity.
The one and only Mabel King has a bit part as a tribal chieftain in a few flashback scenes. Bill Gunn wrote and directed Ganja and Hess, and he also appears in it as Ganja's husband. It's notable for having a black writer and director, and a black cast.
I had known about this cult classic movie for decades. When I first took an interest in obscure and bizarre films, I didn't have the luxury of the internet. I had word of mouth of family and friends, and mail order catalogs sourced from the back pages of counterculture magazines. Sinister Cinema is one of the few still around today. Back then, I was selecting movies based on nothing more than a thumbnail graphic, title, and synopsis. I became familiar with directors such as Jess Franco, and Mario Bava.
Ganja and Hess appeared in many of those catalogs. One in particular sold a mix of offbeat cult classic horror movies and horror porn. I think its name was Starlight. It was the mail order movie equivalent of a guy in a trench coat in a dark alley selling knock-off Rolex watches. I made note of Ganja and Hess, but never got around to buying it. I finally rented it from [subscription movie rental service]. I'm glad to have seen it. I'm also glad that I didn't purchase a bootleg VHS of it for $19.95 back in 1999.